Shaping a Child’s Personality – Why he behaves the way he behaves

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Very often we come across parents who complain how their kid is growing up to be a difficult child. They cite many fancy words like ‘defiant’, ’emotionally insecure’ and ‘hyperactive’. In fact so much information is available over the internet about the types of behavioral problems in children that they self-diagnose their child and many times even start counselling them. As parents we want to make sure that we raise our children to be confident and self-sufficient personalities who can excel in whatever they take up and we are absolutely correct in wanting so.  So how should we discharge this responsibility?

Lets begin with first understanding what actually makes the character of a child and what factors play a role in affecting it.

A child’s personality is partly inherited and partly the product of his environment – the effect of his parents’ and teachers’ personalities and attitudes, and the personalities and behaviors of his siblings and friends.

So it begins not with the birth of the child, but even before that. It dates back to the parents’ childhood and disposition, to the sort of family life that they had, to the amount of love and affection that they received. A child brought up in an environment devoid of love and affection will in turn be unable to receive or provide the emotion himself.

It depends upon the age of the parents, their desire for a child, their preference for a particular sex. If a pregnancy is rejected right from the time of its conception, it does have psychological effects upon the kid. Very often it is seen that a woman with an unplanned pregnancy, not wanting to continue with it suffers from vomiting throughout the 9 months of her pregnancy. It is like her mind connected with her body is rejecting it – after all vomiting is simply the act of removing from our body that which we do not wish to retain. Her overall attitude towards her baby will also suffer, hence weakening the mother-child bond.

When it is a precious pregnancy, or elderly parents conceiving after many years, after taking various kinds of treatment for infertility, the natural over-anxiety of the parents can tend to make the child hypochondriac. Many such pre-conceptional and prenatal factors affect the temperament of the child; so many of them we are unaware of as they occur at a subconscious level in our minds.

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With this kind of a background, many parents are trying to provide as much as they can to keep their children happy. They stretch themselves so much, go above and beyond what is required and in the process are making their children dependent upon them. It includes over-protective and over-anxious mothers who do not allow them to play outdoors, get dirty in the mud or rain, interact with other children. They land up getting engrossed in toys, tablets, smartphones and other gadgets leading to lack of physical activity. It includes yielding to their wishes and actions which no normal parent should tolerate – lack of discipline, not leaving them alone, not letting them fall to stand up on their own. They are not given the opportunity to choose, to stimulate their thinking and analytical capacities. The child is convinced that he is incapable of looking after himself; he learns that he need not make any efforts himself because his parents will always rush to help him. The result is a spoilt, under-confident, lethargic child.

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On the other extreme are parents who are haunted by the fear of ‘spoiling’ their children. It is a paradox that it is to these mothers that most spoilt children belong. Mothers are advised to not pick up their wailing babies so as to not get them into a habit. Always remember – the more your child is happy, the more he will be healthy physically as well as emotionally. Conditioning process in an important one in the study of behavior. The child who at mealtimes is threatened, bullied and smacked in an effort to make him eat may come to associate eating with discomfort and develop a poor appetite. A child who is compelled to sit on a potty when he is struggling to get off it becomes conditioned against it, associating it with tears and discomfort and may develop constipation and bed-wetting.

Constant reprimands and criticism with the intention to better them, lack of acknowledgement of their achievements, scolding them in public – some of the practices that scar the developing ego of children.

Children are sensitive, intelligent and interesting. They learn quickly by imitation. They learn to give respect, kindness, politeness, sharing, expressing from the people who are a part of their environment. If a child observes that obstinacy and embarrassing the parents in public will get him what he wants, he wont forget it. And it is most tedious to make them un-learn an undesirable habit. Punishment is irrational because children learn far better from rewards, praise and encouragement than from punishment, blame and reprimands. It is futile to attempt to treat the symptom – the thumb-sucking, the aggressiveness, the lying – without treating the cause which is so often insecurity, fear and lack of love.

While the handling of a child plays the utmost important role in managing these issues, there may still be some children who might need more help. Here, Homeopathy has a lot to offer. It is a well known that Homeopathic medicines have the potential to modify emotions and behaviors which in a conducive environment can lead to a great change in the personality of a child. It has shown immense scope in many behavioral problems like Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder as even Autism Spectrum Disorder.

In conclusion, a child’s behavior problems are the result of conflict between his developing personality and the personality and attitudes of his parents, teachers and peers. There is no one answer to these problems. In order to help your child, you need to understand the basis of this problem, which is individual for every child and every family and which is also the conceptual basis of Homeopathy. Talk to your child. Listen. Observe. Act.

By: Dr. Priyanka Joshi

      MD (Hom) Paediatrics

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Blue Whale Challenge: How parents, teachers, and others can help teenagers in crisis

Every day, we hear of so many crime reports from across the world. Most of these happen in the ‘real’ world, where the perpetrator and the victim occupy the same space. But now, we have another world to worry about – the virtual world. One in which it sometimes becomes impossible to tell who the perpetrator is.

Cybercrimes and bullying are becoming serious concerns. Although they are conducted in the virtual world, they hold the power to impact the physical world. What might seem like a simple rant on twitter or an emotional quote on instagram or snapchat can influence a large number of people in the actual world. The most vulnerable to online bullying and cyber crimes are children and teenagers who have access to all manner of information on the internet, but are not always mature enough to be able to handle it. Hence, it is so very important to educate not only children and teens but also adults on how to be responsible and how to guard themselves against these crimes.

The Blue Whale Challenge is not very different from what any criminal in history has tried to do in the physical world. One man takes upon him to rid the world of the people he thinks don’t deserve to live. Teenage is a most vulnerable time in the life of a person; as the person is struggling with identity issues and still trying to figure out who they are. This makes them especially susceptible to online crime and emotional abuse, such as the Blue Whale Challenge.

 

Teens are known to experiment and take risks because of peer-pressure, parental and school expectations or media influence. Now with their accessibility to the virtual world they are being attacked and bullied via social media platforms also. It is important to understand that their struggle is one of self-esteem, the need to be understood and accepted, and having a sense of worth, wanting to matter to the world around them.

Parents, teachers, and care-givers must understand that once we help them in the real world to reduce these issues they are less likely to fall prey to such crimes online. They will then have the strength to say no, stand-up for themselves, identify and report abuse not only in the physical world but also the virtual world. There has to be a more active role that each one of us needs to play in spreading awareness about how to combat these crimes and protect ourselves and our loved ones.

Low self-esteem, disconnecting with friends, wanting to be alone, withdrawal from family members, reluctance to leave their electronic gadgets unattended, avoiding school or work, changes in personality (anger, sadness, crying), drastic changes in appearance or weight, fresh marks on the skin or wearing clothes that hide these marks even in summers, are some of the signs that may help a caregiver, friend, or family member to identify a need for help.

In such cases, it becomes important to make the person feel that help is available without judgment. Encouraging expressing one’s feelings either in spoken words, a letter or a journal helps in releasing these amped up emotions. We must convince such teenagers that their pain is understood, that they are brave, that we respect them for who they are, and that they have done nothing wrong.

We must challenge their belief that they deserve pain by showing them compassion and support. This will help the person move a step away from harm. Also, spreading awareness about how to report abuse online, taking screen shots or saving IP addresses as proof will let them know that help is available.

We need to remember that at the end of the day we are humans be it in the real or the virtual world. Our struggles and concerns may seem vastly different from one another but they are very similar. We all have a need to be accepted and loved; and accepting and loving oneself is the first step to that. To know that it is okay to be confused or scared, but to always believe that we are worthy.

As adults, it is our responsibility to watch out for these signs in children and teenagers around us. Without trying to invade into their privacy or threaten them with dire consequences; we must show compassion and the strength to stand by them. Only by convincing them of their own worth can we protect them from these invisible monsters.

 

What is the Real Reason Behind your Disease ?

Humans are prone to diseases, which is a fact that cannot be taken away. Even though there have been ground-breaking advances in the field of modern medicine about antibiotics and life sustaining drugs,  we are still not spending enough time in understanding the real reason behind the cause, genesis and evolution of diseases. We must study why an individual is more prone to certain kinds of diseases, when has his disease precipitated, what series of events have led to breakdown of the entire system. The answers to this can be found in the stress-diathesis model and by studying the PNEI (Psycho-Neuro-Endocrine-Immunological) axis.

The stress-diathesis model asserts that if the combination of the predisposition and the stress exceeds a threshold, the person will develop a disorder.

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The diathesis, or predisposition, interacts with the subsequent stress response of an individual. Stress refers to a life event or series of events that disrupt a person’s psychological equilibrium and potentially serves as a catalyst to the development of a disorder. Thus, the diathesis–stress model serves to explore how biological or genetic traits (diatheses) interact with environmental influences (stressors) to produce disorders.

In Homoeopathy we study all these factors that have led to the person becoming ill and treat him at that level so that the effects of our medicines are permanent and long lasting. We also study the PNEI axis of a diseased person in detail before prescription of our medicines.

Simply speaking many researches over a period of time have strongly concluded that stress has negative effects on functioning of nerves, of the entire endocrine system (Thyroid, Ovary, and Pancreas) and on the immune system. A study in Harvard suggested that exam going students were more affected by a common virus than non-exam going students, the blood investigation of both sets of students showed a major suppression of immune cells in “stressed” exam going students.

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Having said that, no man is without stress in life, one must go through their share of worries in life. The brain does not have a punching bag where it can remove these unresolved emotions. Think of the body as the canvas of an unsettled mind where the portrait is the disease. In homoeopathy we go the roots of the genesis of the disease. That is why our case taking involves such depth into the life of a person. Where we try and study the Bio-Psycho-Social factors of the disease. This is how we are trying to get to the root cause of the disease rather than a superficial understanding. No other system in the entire world goes to understand a man’s disease in such great depth. Once we are able to perceive this phenomenon in a man, we are able to give tailor-made individual medicine that is most suited to his genetic make-up, precipitating and maintaining factors of his disease.

We aim to heal the man completely rather than just temporarily removing his symptoms.

By: Dr. Shashvat Joshi

Growing Up On Homeopathy ! ! !

As a child, i was a mischievous one, i gave my mother and father a pretty rough time growing up, always playing, always falling and getting hurt, getting wet in the rains all the time, playing with fire crackers, getting skin cuts with kites and all sorts of problems. My Parents never scolded me or were never upset with this kind of behavior. In fact my father would  praise me for the bruises and marks on my body and  would tell me go and get some more.

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This attitude of my parents made me a strong and confident child. I was never afraid of anything nor did anything effect me. This sort of a childhood environment and motivation made me into the person i am. i grew up to be a very adventurous person. from climbing to Everest base camp, scuba diving into the deepest oceans and riding across India to reach the highest motor able road in the Himalayas. My father who is also a well known and a reputed homeopath never gave me any vaccinations.  I was completely brought up on Homeopathy. I had never known the concept of vaccination as a child, i was surprised to find my friends visiting the clinic every year for their shots. One day out of curiosity i asked my father, why wasn’t  i given these shots like the rest of the kids, my father smiled and told me the answer to this question you will find once you grow up.

Growing up, i was never hospitalized, i had never taken any medicine for fever, i had never taken antibiotics, i used to fall in once a year. My immunity had been strong from day one of my life.  Meanwhile i used to see my friends fall ill at every change of weather, when they had cold drinks and ice-cream and had to be hospitalized all the time.  Till day i am healthy and fall ill only once a year lasting for 2-3 days.

I too grew up to be doctor and studied the concepts of innate immunity and acquired immunity, as parents all must thrive for inculcating acquired immunity in your child. Give him the freedom to play in dirt and in the monsoons, let him fall and make mistakes. We must stop becoming over protective of our children, teach them to  be independent as early as possible. We must realize that  the anxieties and insecurities are ours that are over protecting our children. The Pediatrician scares us and advises us  a large number of vaccinations. We must ask ourselves are all these vaccinations required. Weren’t children healthy before the advent and development of  vaccinations. Ask the doctor, will taking BCG vaccine completely prevent your child from getting TB ?. These are concerns that are growing among Indian parents now. Let the child recover by himself when he is ill. It is we who are weak that cannot see our child in fever.

In Homeopathy we believe in the same thing, we do not directly attack the bacteria and viruses, rather we push the bodies immune system get stronger and attack the bacteria on their own. This helps the body’s immunity to grow and acquire this specific immunity so that next time whenever this bacteria enters the system it will be able to fight it with ease. We want to make our patients stronger and independent of anyone and anything

Make your children independent

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Healthy Family

 

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The complete physical, mental as well as social well being is HEALTH. The process is dynamic with the constant demands and challenges from the environment around us. The current time is full of stress which creates imbalance and produces UNEASE which is capable to produce DISEASE if not understood and taken care of.

I believe that the rise of Psychosomatic diseases and Psychiatric diseases are product of not paying attention to Mental Health.  We can do much about it. The emotional stability and Social wellbeing is achievable. We can talk about it and bring solution based on need of the each case.

Early parental guidance to raise healthy and creative children is the stepping stone in building up

Healthy family. This will reduce stress in parents as well as give them INSIGHT in to the capabilities of children. Children are future of nation.

The couples are facing challenges too. My focus is creating open and communicative relationship by which multiple goals are achieved. Strong family bond creates emotional stability as well as gives individual space for growth to all is the demand of TIME.

By:  Dr. Jyoti S. Joshi

 

Why Homeopathy for your Child?

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As parents, we have to make many important decisions for our children. Decisions that begin from the nature of childbirth, the type of food and feeding practices, to which nursery and school to put them in. Many of these decisions may seem trivial to some individuals. For instance, one may think how does it matter whether a baby is fed milk through a bottle or by using a bowl and spoon, isn’t it? It makes a world of a difference! Not only does it affect the child’s physical health but also interferes with their psychological growth. As important, and even more so, is the decision of choosing the right type of treatment for all your child’s problems.

In today’s world of speed and technology, everyone wants results. Naturally, the ways of modern medicine are very much in vogue and trending fast. All parents want the best and quickest forms of treatment for their little ones to help them overcome their complaints. But nobody is considering at what cost. Let’s just take a moment and do that.

With every change of weather, with every sip of a cold drink many children start with complaints of cold, cough, breathlessness, throat pain, fever, diarrhoea etc. for which the parents must rush them to the family doctor. Most common mode of treatment usually consists of an antibiotic, an anti-pyretic (fever medicine) and other medicines for symptomatic relief. Over a span of 3-4 days the child gets better. When we ask the doctor what it actually is, the most common answer is ‘Viral infection’. But we fail to understand that if it is a viral infection, then what is the need of an antibiotic?

For those of you who don’t know, antibiotics are used for infections that are caused by bacteria. They have no role in treating viral infections. In fact, there are no forms of treatment available today to cure a viral infection. Usually, viral infections are self-limited and are overcome by the body’s nature defence mechanism. Hence the child gets well within 3-4days. Even the most dreaded Dengue fever, which is of viral origin has no specific medicines to cure it. Lots of fluid, rest and close monitoring is all the treatment that one can give.

So why are we over-medicating our child with these medicines when they are not required? Not only do they receive the excess drug, but also should deal with its side effects ranging in a variety of gastro-intestinal upsets, weakness, loss of appetite etc. Apart from this, because of the non-judicious use of antibiotics, the bacteria soon develop resistance against the drugs and evolve to adapt and overcome the drug, hence becoming stronger. Soon the action of the antibiotics seems to be insufficient and need for higher range arises. This is a continuous process which puts the human body through unwarranted stress and susceptible to worse types of infections. Lately it had been reported that a woman from the USA who had recently been to India and got herself operated for her hip died of an E. coli infection which was resistant to 26 types of antibiotics that are available in the USA. This is just an example of the rampant rage with which bacteria are becoming more and more tough to deal with. Many researches and talks are taking place about the same. One such informative TEDtalk will help bring more clarity on the same.

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Here we can appreciate the role of Homeopathy in dealing with such situations by enhancing the body’s own defenses in overcoming the infection. Even in a bacterial infection, the body is able to combat the illness with the help of these medicines and hence the overall immunity of the child increases. Isn’t it better than supplying external soldiers in the form of antibiotics to fight our own battle? And this it does in a safe and natural manner without causing any side effects.

It is commonly seen that allergies, whether of the skin or respiratory system, are confused with infections and dealt with wrongly. An allergic response is the body’s own reaction to a certain substance which it is sensitive to. It does not possess the properties of an infection such as running a high fever or spreading it to others. This sensitive response of the body is very individual. Homeopathic remedies show wonderful results in such conditions wherein it reduces the body’s exaggerated response and in turn decreases its symptoms. The child in time develops a reduced reaction to the sensitive substance and remains untroubled.

But then comes the question, isn’t Homeopathy slow? Wont it take time to act? What about the child until then? Here is another myth that needs to be broken. Homeopathy is not slow! When administered in the right dose, it brings about a change within minutes to hours. Many acute illnesses like diarrhoea, vomiting, cough, fever, wheezing show great response to the treatment and fast recovery. Also, unlike with modern medicine, the child’s appetite is restored, his energy levels come back to normal and is back in action much faster. This is because children are known to be more sensitive in responding to Homeopathic medicines and hence, are most profited by this mode of treatment. And one cannot deny how easy it makes the job of parents in administering these sweet candylike-tasting pills to them!

With regular Homeopathic treatment, not only does the child improve quicker but it also boosts his immune system which reduces the chances of him contracting infections easily. The result is a happier, healthier child which is what every parent strives for.

By: Dr. Priyanka Joshi

      MD (Hom) Paediatrics

Homoeopathy and Sattva

Homoeopathy as a science of healing has all the means and ways to treat most of the diseases. I have witnessed the rapidity of relief of many diseases with Homoeopathic treatment. The treatment is not GENERAL but INDIVIDUAL which is the hallmark of the science. Each individual is different hence the treatment. The grasp of this phenomena and its application in most scientific way is what we do. The results are most convincing.

Second most important aspect to our approach is understanding “PSYCHE” and its relation to “SOMA”. Through years of interacting with patients and their family we have the firm grasp of origin as well as maintaining of individual disease. This gives us edge in guiding the entire family for meaningful insight for accepting and managing diseases.

Third aspect is scientific updates. We keep on updating our understanding in Etiopathology with latest in   Immunology, Allergies, and Endocrinology etc.

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By: Dr. Sudhir R. Joshi